Gratitude

No pictures tonight...just wanted to blab for a sec. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends in life whose mother is going through a really really hard time right now-she lost her husband/my friend's dad two years ago to cancer, and now she finally found someone else she wanted to spend her life with: he just found out he has cancer yesterday. And not a good kind to have, if you had your druthers. She just happens to be in town with her son/my friend here in Vegas now, and I'm so glad he could be there for her. She needs him right now. They are consumed by "the heavy" right now and I have internalized their pain in the past few days. I know what it's like COMPLETELY to watch someone I love go through cancer multiple times. I've lived where they are right now. I know what it's like to watch the other people I love live in 'the heavy' and suffer emotionally while our loved one suffers physically. It's hell on earth. I feel for them so much and feel this never ending need to continue to pray for their hearts to feel peace through this horrible time for them.

I am so grateful though, that I had the opportunity at a young age to suffer and age and gain the perspective I have now at a young 31 years. The understanding I have of the 'secrets of the universe' (as my friend terms my knowledge...lol!) I would've never come to without the gospel and without going through those trials. :) (And I've only scratched the surface of what God wants me to know.) My faith is stronger, my logic is stronger, my ability to deal with trials is stronger, my relationship with God is stronger, etc. It makes me SO GRATEFUL for every one of my trials, no matter how difficult it was to get through, for so many reasons. I have so much compassion-it is one of my greatest gifts from God. I was born with an unusual amount of compassion anyhow (like the kid in "Sixth Sense"...i've always been a little freaky compassionate. LOL) but with those trials I'm ridiculously compassionate now. I have a bit more of an understanding of how Christ sees all of us. I see my fellow men with so much love and compassion. And I do tend to internalize their pain and cry with them. When I start to think how weird I must be or seem for that I remember my favorite story in the New Testament. When Christ came upon Mary and Martha and Lazarus after he died, and they were sobbing and in so much emotional pain, what did He do? "Jesus wept." He knew darn well He could and would raise Lazarus from the dead and 'fix' their problem, but His compassion overtook Him and He cried with them first. So I suppose I'm in good company? lol

Thank goodness I went through what I did or I wouldn't be blessed with such a gift that comes with such heavy responsibility! People open up all the time to me...almost every day...even at the dog groomers today the lady behind the desk cried to me about when she lost her son years ago...dunno...I have come to realize I have a sign on my forehead (that my mother wears too) that says 'Even if I don't know you... I love you, talk to me, I'll listen.' I like my little sign. :) I hope it never fades away. Even though I feel physical pain at times from internalizing other people's hurt I love being compassionate. I made a lady at the dog groomers today feel loved and that makes me happy. My friend knows I am one of the few he can talk to about his heart's pain (and he does) and that makes me happy. Thanks to Heavenly Father I have a unique ability to listen, to sympathize, to comfort, to maybe bring a little peace now to my friend that now kneels in the midst of where I was years ago. I have such a deep understanding of the plan of salvation and a peace about death that most never have. And there's still SO much more to learn...I'm in awe of God's greatness and wisdom. I'm so grateful for the little wisdom He blessed me with! (I'm amazed sometimes at the depth of my testimony...concepts that seem simple to me seem too deep for others at times and I wonder why I've been so blessed with understanding.) I'm so grateful for the gospel and for my one on one relationship with God...for Him declaring things to my heart that I know are true and will never be without. How lucky I am. I wish I could copy and paste my spiritual heart to my friend so that he could know too.

Recording Session photos

Just for fun...since we've had SUCH A BLAST at the studio playing and jammin' 'til all hours of the night lately. TOO MUCH FUN! If I'm not gonna be at home hanging with my two men-big and lil- that I love most in the world, this is a great place to be with some of my best friends. We have way too much fun together and I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. :)

Here's me sangin'. LOL. We just had to take a photo of Mariah Carey's old mic that I was recording with...it ROCKED!

Our drummer, Kirk, is an early bird, NOT a night owl...so we have several pictures of him sleeping at 2am. Not really...lol...but reenacted it for ya. :)Kasey, my electric guitarist, hangin' out by the board...such a cool dude. :) One of my best friends. :)Mark-my other guitarist/backup vocalist that rocks...coming out of the A room (where he used to work) after messin' with the $15K Neuman mic....waaaaaay too much fun recording on that thing! :) Mark also helped engineer the demo too...he's a multi-talented dude and SOOO cool!Our sound engineer Rob and Mark messin' with the equipment-my view in the studio-hung out there many an hr. Rob is a genius. AND he also just happened to be the chief sound engineer on the "Killers" last album!!!! We lucked out that he made himself available for us, thanks to our vocal producer Jeffrey. :) Yay! Rob's amazing. :)
More pictures later! I have a ton we took for our demo press packet, but I'm too tired tonight. :) I've never been happier in my life to be SO blessed with an AMAZING hubby and baby/family, and have a creative/performing outlet that is so fun, and ESPECIALLY 'cause the guys are the closest friends I've had in a long time. They are the most positive, sweet, TALENTED, happy, fun, good, hilarious, amazing people and I feel incredibly lucky to be working with them. My heart is VERY HAPPY right now. :) More later! Night!

My apologies...

Okay...so here's my long laundry list of lame excuses of why I haven't been blogging the past four months. Our computer died. And our other computer died. Then we couldn't find our camera. I've been so busy I'm lucky to spend time with Lamar, let alone spend time blogging. I have spent my late hours at night in recording sessions/rehearsals and have had no time to catch up. Lame lame lame...I know. PLUS the overwhelming task of trying to catch up on pictures since Halloween is just not cool. SO I'm going to start from tonight/last night and catch up slowly, if at all...'cause if I let myself get too overwhelmed I won't do it. :)

Brendan just turned 18 months old last week! He's HUGE...wearing 3T/4T clothes already...and is SO STINKIN' FUN and cute!!!! He's talking up a storm now, saying "Yes, please" ("yeh-pees") "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" "Uh-oh", "Mama", "Dada", "Bubbles" (Nemo character stuffed animal that is his all time favorite...only my kid would pick the most neurotic Disney character ever created to be attached to! LOL!) "Dory" ("Deh"), "Thank You"("Day Doo"), "Car Car", "YES!", "Turkey"("Kurkee"), "Go", "Outside"("Owsigh") (last weekend he said an entire sentence "I gonna go outside" before walking out my friend's door!) "Bath" ("Bat"), "Here ya go" ("Hee-go), "Come on", "Hide" ("Hyb"), "YAY!", "HI!" ("HIYEE!"), "Brendan" ("Breh-bee"...my FAVORITE!), "Grandpa" ("Gapa"), "Grandma" ("Gama"), "Penguin"("Paygin"), "Tap Dance" ("Ta-das"), "Play" ("pay"), "Keys", "Phone" ("bone") "Laundry" ("ahndee" and when he 'helps' me with laundry he'll pass me clothes from the floor and say "here, peez"!), and many many others. I'll try to catch them on video since they're so stinkin' cute. Especially 'yes please'. It makes us giggle every time he says it in his cute little voice. :)

Okay...some pictures from tonight...

He LOVES this little firetruck! :) He can't figure out how to move it forward yet, so he'll just push his legs so it'll go backwards everywhere. So funny!

He LOVES tackling Mommy and Daddy! Especially when he's holding Dory and Bubbles from "Nemo"! This is pouncing on Daddy while Daddy was trying to talk to his brother Aaron on his birthday...look at how long he is! Considering Daddy is 6'2"! LOL! He's HUGE! :) That's Bubbles-his FILTHY yellow stuffed fish (that I canNOT get clean )that he's laying on too. :) He takes that thing everywhere with him. It's so gross. LOL!

This was a video from when my family was in town a couple of weekends ago...he has discovered the remote on my keychain honks the car horn and it's his new favorite game. "Car car go beep"! Here is a snippit of him playing with momma's keys...

Here are the two little guys giggling 'flying' together...both start giggling before we even lift them up 'cause they know the tickle torture with moms' toes is about to happen. It's so fun! :) I LOVE big belly baby laughs!

Some cute pictures of the little cousins...Brendan and Brody!

Brendan's big blue eyes...he was wanting to look at the pictures on the camera I'd already taken...likes to see himself in pictures...giggles his head off and points at himself and says "Brehbee!!"

Nice Brendan...such a little boy...hanging out with the cous...

Then, while I was trying to take a picture of just Brody, Brendan really wanted his picture taken again, so stepped right in front of the camera right as I took the picture...:) They had so much fun together!

Giving everybody "Bumps" (knuckle bumps instead of high fives)...so cute! Thanks aunt Rie Rie for teaching us that! :)

That's all for tonight. I have a ton of catching up to do...my apologies...be patient with me! :) I'm slightly overwhelmed. LOL

Thanks for reading!