Our Yoda

My favorite dog in the world died in my arms tonight. It broke my heart into pieces. I loved her SO MUCH and haven't been able to be the mom I wanted to be to her since I had a real baby. I was only able to hold her for about two minutes before she passed away in my arms. It was almost as if she had waited to die 'til I could hold her. She snuggled up in my arms and just quit breathing. Heart failure. It was so sad. Bawled like a baby in the vet's office all by myself, holding her little body. I'm so glad she's not in pain anymore and went home to God. But man am I going to miss that spunky little feisty ball of personality. She was mine-I picked her out from an entire litter of maltese and she was my favorite. So funny.

My favorite thing was how she'd play with ya, her "Rugga Rugga Rugga" voice. You'd pretend to grab her front paws and she'd hunker down, tail a waggin' and play growl with ya, and gently 'bite' ya to play. And how she'd snuggle up to me in bed...her little warm body. Or how she'd grab your shirt with her teeth and pull on it if she didn't think you were giving her enough attention. Or how she'd let you hold her like a baby on her back and would STRETCH her arms straight up in the air when you tickled her arm pits. Or how when my mom would breathe on her face she'd turn away as if she didn't like the smell of my mom's breath. She was so stinkin' funny. Or how she'd lick my hand as I was laying in bed and she wanted me to get up. Or how she'd put her little paws on the bed and stare at me 'til I'd open my eyes. And how she liked to do tug of war with socks. And how when I'd come home from work I'd yell "Gi-irls!!!" and she and Macy would come running down, thundering their little paws on the stairs to come see mom. I feel horrible that they've had to live in their 'nursing room' corner of our downstairs since they lost their bladder control/potty training abilities due to old age. I hope she was still happy. :( I'm going to hold a lot of guilt over that for a long time. I hope she knows I still loved her, even though she couldn't sleep with us anymore. I gave Brendan so much of my attention.....I really pray she knew how much she meant to me. I hope God will tell her for me, since I didn't get a chance to before she died. I only had two minutes. :( :( :(

I have loved Yoda since before I loved Lamar, Brendan, any of my friends in high school or college too for that matter. I have loved that dog since I was a young teenager. She and Macy were my 'babies' for years. I treated them like human children. And I LOVED her! I am SO GLAD I was the one holding her when she died. The vets tried to revive her, but she was gone, even though her heart was barely beating. She laid in my arms and died, HOPEFULLY knowing how LOVED she was and how much I was going to miss her. I bawled my eyes out like a baby tonight several times. It was a rough night. Luckily she's in a better place and hopefully knows I love her. I truly believe we'll get to be reunited with our pets in Heaven, so God be with ya 'til we meet again baby girl!!! I love you so so so so SO much!!!!! :(